15th January 2007

ATT; The Australian Cricket Board*

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Firstly let me congratulate you and the Australian team on the recent Ashes white wash. I am sure untold time and effort was spent both by the players and behind the scenes.

In the interest of Australian cricket, I would like to draw your attention to another crucial factor of the recent Ashes series success. There are many fans of Australian cricket around the world, but one fan in particular has a tremendous influence on the outcome of Australian cricket matches. You may be unaware that a Mr R _ _ _ _ C _ _ _ _ _ can contribute directly to the taking of wickets in a cricket match. He can achieve this feat by watching a game of cricket played by Australia.

Mr C is a devout cricket fan. The unfortunate fact of this situation is that it is always Australian wickets that fall when Mr C is supporting his team. If I could draw your attention to the famous Steve Waugh test. The test when Steve Waugh scored a century on the second day of play. Australia went on to lose that test convincingly. Mr C was in the crowd on the fateful 4th day. I have seen this phenomenon even when Mr C watches the cricket on television, or even listens on the radio. To wit; For the duration of the summer of 2006/2007, Mr C was out of the country, much to his chargrin. And the result? A 5 - 0 white wash.

Is there a solution? Well you could probably tempt Mr C with an all expenses paid trip to Eastern Europe, France, Spain or Canada. Countries that do not broadcast the game of the colonies. Just make sure the beer is good.

Kind Regards,

Mr Snorks.

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15th January 2007

ATT: Channel Nine (and the Subcontinental Bookies)

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I would like to draw your attention to the letter attached above. With judicious application of the included knowledge I am sure there could be financial benefits. For the right price, I will pass on the details of Mr C, so an arrangement can be made.

Kind Regards,

Mr Snorks.

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* A tribute to my drinking buddy. You are being sorely missed.