I've been a boring shit lately, the following post is just venting. Looking for something more entertaining, try Shauny, or Nicole.

Earlier this evening I realised that I've just had probably the most mundane month of my humble life. Sure, I got to shoot off to Melbourne, it was good to catch up with friends, but still. I also started practicing for the Messiah performance again, but that is so last year. Apart from that, work has been all consuming.

Part of the pressure from work is that I have students whose marks depend on my output. I understand how hard uni can be, I really had to bust my arse to get reasonable marks, while working three jobs. Correspondingly, I ensure that I do all I can to help out in an efficient manner. This seems to generate conflict, after all the uni is just another bureaucratic hub.

Late last week, something within just clicked, or snapped? The stress dropped significant levels. It's not that I don't give a shit any longer, I guess I just realised the expectations are unrealistic. Some of my students really haven't been pulling their weight, I will not feel responsible. Added to that my turbo diesel caused sufficient grief that the class had to be postponed. That was a first, it feels like a dirty blemish. Only true colours? Further, the race car team has a huge uphill task getting to the event in December. Not my responsibility. At least the engine ran, finally.

The light at the end of the tunnel helps too. Overseas is calling with a sweet melody. The opportunity to reinvent myself, or really to affirm who I am/want to be. Sweet.