It's not that fucking hard, really. See, on the outside there are two buttons. One for up, one for down. There are lights for each level and arrows indicating the elevator direction. On the inside there are buttons for each level. Based on these signals the following questions are mind numbingly stupid!

"Is this lift going up or down?"
"Is this level 4?"
"Does this lift stop on level 28?"

Fucking honestly. And yes, there is a light beam across the door, which will prevent the door closing if you are standing across it, dickhead. Going one floor? Try the fucking stairs! Some of these people have driving licenses, it really scares me. All in the house of the intelligentsia.

Similarly with taxis. Is the light on top of the taxi illuminated? No? Well that means SOMEONE ELSE IS IN IT! You fucking moron.

Robo, Freeman and I have had discussions about the merits of hailing taxis, rather than catching them. Once certain levels of intoxication are reached, our dear Freeman has been known to try to catch taxis. You know, step out in front of a speeding cabbie. We might as well have neon signs screaming "Beware the pissed bastards!". Although, that some of these cabbies also have licenses really scares me. At least Freeman can tell if the bloody light is on or not, even in that state. It was a nicety that was lost on Robo during our last evening out. Apparently he has never been that pissed, ever. That's a big call.

I've been dependent on the elevators lately, can you tell?